The Bird-Kersees and the Weavers have been invited to an open house for a new country club. The Weavers tells the Bird-Kersees it’s snobby and stupid, not worth anyone’s time…but then Marty decides he wants to belong -- he’s never had the chance to join a country club before.
They sneak out later to attend alone so the Zabvronians don’t embarrass them. They show up anyway, fresh off learning about the concept of race, and studying up on some easy stereotypes so they can help themselves fit in. It probably wasn’t the best idea.
Debbie: Guys, you can’t go through our mail. A person’s mail is a private thing.
Larry: Yes, that’s why it’s placed by a stranger in a box at the end of your driveway unattended. Silly fools.
Jackie: On Zabvron we are all equal. Some of us are very equal, some of us are middle equal…and some of us are barely equal at all. They hardly deserve our scraps.
Reggie: They. Are beneath me.
Country Club Guy: Are you here for the open house?
Larry: We’re here to investigate the country club to see if we want to join. I’m a Republican. I can get bank loans.
Jackie: What are you talking about, Willis?
Marty: Oh my God.
It comes as quite the shock to Marty when the Bird-Kersees get an invite and the Weavers don’t. Marty learns that the club is very inclusive, and the Bird-Kersees being a very racially mixed family might have helped their cause. Larry takes great pleasure in rubbing his new membership in Marty’s face every chance he gets, taunting him.
When it gets too intense, Debbie finally makes Larry see that Marty just wanted to join because country club folks are the kind that made Marty feel inferior his whole life, even though he’s a wonderful, loving man. Larry quits the club in a huff, telling the manager that until upper-middle class white families stop getting shortchanged, he’s discontinuing his membership.
His heart was in the right place.
Larry (on the chocolate fountain): It makes me think of the beautiful words of your poet, John Keats. “An endless fountain of mortal drink, pouring unto us from the heaven’s brink.” It also makes me think of poo.
Marty: I feel like I just beat a kitten to death with a bag of puppies.
Debbie: Goodbye, child care. And fancy drinks while my children are in child care.
Marty: It’s actually a great club, and you’re great people. They’re lucky to have you.
Larry: Thank you, Marty. To my complete surprise, that means a lot.