Tessa's Field Guide to the Suburbs - "The Body"

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The Grieving Process

Description:  A period during which an individual mourns the loss of something dear, be it a loved one, pride, or a blind auction trip to St. Barts.

The Process: Depends upon the situation.  If a cleaning lady has been lost, the mourners draw the shades and put black fabric over lamps so as to prevent the visibility of gathering dust bunnies.  They dispose of any cleaning products since (a) they don’t know how to use them and (b) they don’t know what germs the cleaning lady might have left behind.  They then spend more time out of house to avoid the constant reminders that they lack a service person.  If a family loses the ideal version of their child, the grieving process takes a more extreme turn.  Funerals are held, ambrosia is made, and all reminders of the child, which still happens to be alive, are disposed of.  This stage of grief is called denial, although another word for it may be neglect.

Therapy: As with the grieving process, grief therapy varies depending upon the circumstances.  The mourners who lost their cleaning lady might find solace in hiring that nice girl who just stopped working at the country club.  The family whose perfect child has fallen into shame or traction typically finds it therapeutic to dump all its hopes and dreams onto another, lesser child.  That other, lesser child must then seek therapy for separate, stress-related issues.