Tessa's Field Guide to the Suburbs - "The Nutcracker"

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Christmas

Honorees: Jesus Christ, Santa Claus, Barney’s New York.

Observed on: December 25th!

Observed at: Local church of your chosen denomination, the hearth of beloved friends and family, Aspen.

Customs: Chatswinians without means or advanced tastes display some sort of evergreen conifer in their dens. The rest opt for one or several trees constructed of the finest synthetic material to place in their foyers and conservatories. Trees of the advantaged and disadvantaged alike are adorned with ornaments of both the store-bought and craft project variety. Under the trees, observers place fancifully wrapped gifts ranging from sporting equipment to jewelry to domestic and foreign currency. Though not explicitly stated, one driveway per block is expected to sport a luxury car wrapped in a giant bow.