Tessa's Field Guide to the Suburbs - "The Chatterer"

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Kaitlyn, Kenzie and Kimantha

Alternate Name: The KKK

Description: A powerful trio of women who reign over the sophomore population of Chatswin High. The sheen of their hair, gloss of their lips and curve of their calves lure prospective mates to ancient dancing rituals known as Prom and Homecoming. 

Habitat: Indigenous to the region. The KKK roams the school quad’s fertile grassland. They are occasionally spotted grazing on Red Bull and breath mints in the cafeteria. They hunt as a coordinated group stalking herds of weaker females, isolating their prey in bathrooms and then devastating them. They avoid classrooms and their mortal enemy, books, at all costs. During the summer, they often migrate to “The Gurt Locker.”

Religious Practices: Worship at mirrors daily and Target bi-weekly.

Native Language: Gossip.

Known Enemies: Acne, bacne, cankles and Lisa Shay.