Tessa's Field Guide to the Suburbs - "Pilot"

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Creation Station

Category: Artifacts/Architecture

Description: Man-made artifact, most closely related to a vanity but with exaggerated proportions to compensate for exaggerated vanity. Models are custom made, but most often contain: a hair extension trellis, revolving shoe carousel and illuminated lipstick application area. The keystone of the piece is a collection of seven magnifying mirrors of varying intensity. Runs on natural gas.

Creator: Concept and design: Dallas Royce. Construction and instillation: unknown.

Price: If you don’t love your daughter, you can get one for as little as $19.95 at Ikea. Top models range from $6,000 to $10,000 depending on square footage and thickness of gold leaf.