STORY 1: Gloria Is Pregnant
Gloria begins sharing the good news with everyone that she's pregnant, but she's not sure how to break it to Jay, who doesn't like change.

Memorable Quotes:

Gloria: "Last night, I found out that I was pregnant, so Jay's going to get one big surprise. OK, two if you count the barbecue apron with the bikini body on it."

Gloria (telling Manny that she's pregnant): "This is not your responsibility."
Manny: "Neither is a wooden salad bowl, but I'm the only who oils it."

Gloria: "Manny, I can take care of a baby. I took care of you."
Manny: "Please. I was an anomaly. I self-potty-trained."

Claire (reacting to Gloria's pregnancy news): "You're gonna get fat."

Mitchell: "It's a French-Canadian delicacy called poutine."
Jay: "Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pouti-ing it in my mouth."

Luke (on planting the idea of sibling rivalry with Manny): "Sometimes, I just like to toss a grenade and run away."

Luke: "Oh, gross! I didn't know grandpa could still do it."
Phil: "Don't be disrespectful, Luke, anyone could do it with Gloria."

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STORY 2: Jay's Birthday
It's Jay's birthday and he doesn't want any surprises, but Phil and Jay's buddies, Shorty (Chazz Palminteri) and Miles (Ernie Hudson) kidnap him so they can take him on a fishing trip.

Memorable Quotes:

Gloria: "Last night, I found out that I was pregnant, so Jay's going to get one big surprise. OK, two if you count the barbecue apron with the bikini body on it."

Jay (after falling into the lake): "Somebody help me!"
Shorty: "I would but these pants are cashmere!"

Shorty (trying to persuade Phil to grow a beard): "Soul patch? That's like a beard's crap."

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STORY 3: Larry the Cat
After failing to adopt a second child, Mitch and Cam try to move on by adopting a cat that Lily insists should be named Larry.

Memorable Quotes:

Lily: "If I can't have a brother, then I want a kitten named Larry."
Mitchell: "OK, what's this about? Is Larry on a show?"
Cameron: "He's not. Which is what's weird."

Mitchell: "So what you're saying is you have a child-shaped hole in your heart and your plan is to cram a cat into there."
Cameron: "He has a name."

Cat Adoption Woman: "Why wouldn't they give you a baby?"
Cameron: "It's complicated"
Cat Adoption Woman: "So are cats."
Mitchell: "Are they? Because that one over there has been licking itself ever since we got here."

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STORY 4: Homeless Dylan
It's the day after prom, and it turns out that Haley is hungover and Dylan has crashed on the couch. Since Haley can't move in with him, she tries to see if Dylan can move into the Dunphy house.

Memorable Quotes:

Alex (to Haley who thinks her mom just agreed to letting Dylan move in): "She's being facetious… Sarcastic… Dylan no stay."

Haley (on Dylan): "He's very handy."
Alex: "Really? The guy who locked himself in his car?"

Alex (checking the concoction Claire made Haley drink): "Ugh! That's a hangover cure?"
Claire: "No."

Dylan: "My cousin Dylan said I could stay at his house. Well, not really at his house, more like behind it, in the garage. Well actually, there are no walls, so it's more of a porte cochere. Anyway, I'll be sleeping in it. It's got a bathroom. More of a half-bath. It's a coffee can."

Dylan: "I got a place with an old friend of mine. Well, not so much of a place as a storage pod. Not so much of a friend as a raccoon."

Favorite Moment:
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