Phil's college team's nickname is the Bulldogs. It's why he always barks whenever one of his old college pals gives him a call. So you can imagine how frustrated Phil gets when Claire shouts "Go Bullfrogs" over the phone as he's trying to impress Haley during a visit to his beloved alma mater.

Though Haley tolerates her dad's enthusiastic outbursts about his old school, she refuses to hop atop a lunch tray in order to slide down a grassy hill like Phil used to do. That's fine. Phil has a bunch of other activities planned. But everything gets put on hold when Haley is invited to a mixer. Phil's not worried. He can use a GPS to track her via cell phone. Unfortunately, he tracks her to a fraternity house.

Phil crashes the party to totally embarrass his daughter. As it turns out, the mixer was as innocent as can be. Haley storms out of the party. Phil later apologizes for humiliating her. He's been protecting Haley all her life. It's a job he doesn't want to give up. Phil knows he'll have to let go of his little girl at some point, but not right now. Tonight they can still have some fun sliding down a grassy hill on some runaway lunch trays.

Gloria is upset after Manny hides out in his room after receiving a package. She wonders what's inside. Jay tries to convince his wife to forget about it and come watch her favorite Colombian soap opera. In truth, her hubby seems to be more into the show than Gloria, who can't stop thinking about Manny. Jay warns that their boy is at an age where they'd be better served not knowing what he's doing behind closed doors.

As it turns out, Manny isn't involved in any of your more traditional embarrassing activities. The kid was simply hanging upside down from a bar in his closet in an effort to get taller. As you may have guessed, he was doing so to impress a girl. Jay promises to help him do it the right way by getting him into a workout routine. That'll work, as long as the exercise session doesn't take place during a certain soap opera.

With Alex and Luke having been invited to sleepovers, Claire has the night to herself. She bails on an invite to watch Gone with the Wind with some other moms. She's looking to party. Mitchell and Cameron try to satisfy her appetite for nightlife by taking her to a restaurant that makes really good chicken potpies. Yeah, that's not gonna work.

Claire convinces the guys to take her to a little bash being thrown by their friend Longines. Mitch and Cam want to skip out of the party early. That's fine. Claire will just go clubbing with her new gay friend, Julian (guest star Gilles Marini). But Julian isn't gay. This is something a tipsy Claire learns while having a chat with all the judgmental movie-watching moms at Luke's sleepover. Don't sweat it, Claire. After all, tomorrow is another day.

The valet at the potpie place accidentally gave Mitchell and Cameron the wrong Prius. While looking for clues to identify the car's rightful owner, they find lots of keepsakes belonging to someone living life to the fullest. This bums out our boys big time.

Cam and Mitch believe they are in a rut. And when they finally pull up to the Prius owner's home, they literally are in a rut. Their tires spin helplessly as the car owner's wife beats on the vehicle thinking her cheating husband is inside. Hey, it turned out to be a pretty exciting night after all!