It’s Lillie Mae’s birthday! June’s already found her a great present, but Reba and Cash are still scrambling to find her perfect gifts. Reba wants to get her something for bowling, like a new ball, since she’s been hitting the alley a lot with her bowling team, the Alley Cats.
The Alley Cats need a replacement for a big match, and Lillie Mae asks Reba if she’d like to join. Reba’s hesitant. She’s good, but Lillie Mae’s too competitive and Reba hates all the trash talking. That’s what she wants for her birthday: Reba to bowl with her.
Lillie Mae: The Alley Cats kicked butt yet again, anchored as always by the unbeatable combination of Ahhnold and Lillie Mae. And a whole lot of beer.
Reba: ’Bout time for a new [bowling ball], don’t you think?
Lillie Mae: Bowling balls improve with age. They are the wine of sporting equipment.
Reba: What about a backup? Wouldn’t it be fun to have two balls?
Lillie Mae: I’ve got four jokes in response to that.
Lillie Mae: Didn’t you ask me just last week what I wanted for my birthday? What I want is one night where I get to show off my bowling protégé, and to get our team to the championship against the hated Tornadoes.
Reba: Wouldn’t you just rather have a new bowling ball?
Lillie Mae: Well I don’t need two balls. But it wouldn’t hurt you to grow a pair.
Lillie Mae (to opposing bowler): Hey, the gutter just called. He said he can’t wait to meet your ball.
Reba goes, and makes it through the night -- she even carries the team to victory with a clutch strike. Afterward, her new teammate Rikki tells Reba they’re kicking Lillie Mae out for the championship match against the Tornadoes because they can’t take the trash talk. And they want Reba to take her place!
Reba refuses, and tells Lillie Mae. But when Lillie Mae insults Reba’s skills, she takes offense and joins the Alley Cats to prove Lillie Mae wrong. And when Lillie Mae joins the Tornadoes, pitting mother and daughter against each other for the trophy, the sparks fly!
Reba: That’s the most fun I’ve had since we moved to Malibu. And that includes watching Charlie Sheen run naked down the beach.
Rikki: Classic Charlie.
Reba: Mama just likes to give the opposing team a little good-natured razzing.
Rikki: Last week she made a Navy SEAL cry.
Reba: We’re a family. We don’t stab each other in the back, and we don’t text soul-crushing news. And we don’t give flowers to someone when we really want them to betray a loved one. And we are not flower-arranging alley cats who teach screenwriting!
June: Did you follow that?
Cash: I did not.
Lillie Mae: I’m getting in your teammate’s head…through her boobs!
Lillie Mae: You couldn’t talk trash with a garbage man.