Why Hard Work Is Totally Pointless - 12/13/11

I think we can all agree that I am way super talented at whatever I put my mind to. My marketing skills are totes amazing; my turn as a model, while somewhat disrobed, was quite skillful…I even Maced my dad like a pro while delivering pizzas. The problem is that I don’t think my talents are ever being properly recognized, and that’s why I refuse to work unless the price is right.

In order to fully analyze this whole “work” experience, I think we need to start at the ending, which is the part where Mom and Dad drank my Ed wine. That is one of the biggest injustices I’ve been witness to since the time Cindy McIntire wore white capris in late September. Ed gave me that wine, and his family is from Spain, and you can drink legally at 18 there, and I’m almost 18 here, so it pretty much wouldn’t have even been illegal for me to drink it. But now I’ll never get to experience the fruits of my hard work in the marketing department, because those two thirsty cat burglars I call parents totally poached my vino.

The lesson I’ve taken away from this whole experience is “When you work hard, someone else is just going to drink your victory wine, so at the end of the day, you’ll be right back to your wine-less existence. Except for now you didn’t get to do any shopping today, and you’re totally behind on fashion and now people will probably laugh at you tomorrow when you show up for school.” I mean, I missed a full day of fashion trending. Are jeggings even in anymore? Were they ever? My head is spinning.