The Ryan Report – Episode 210 "One Man's Treasure"

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It's been said before, in fact I've said it before: New York is the best city in the world to meet women. To start with, everyone's crowded into such a small space that it's nearly impossible not to meet new people. Plus, wherever you go, people are checking each other out. You could meet someone at the salad bar or on the subway. Everywhere else, people are stuck in their cars, alone – here at least we're stuck with each other.

Point is, it can be very easy to meet girls. I'm not saying they're the right girls... but there's a time and place for the wrong girls. Some would call it your early 20s. During that period in my life, I was lucky enough to meet a lot of them.So many that it required a bit of scheduling. And by a bit, I mean a heroic and concerted effort.

To start with there's a whole balance of day-of-the-week priority to keep in mind. First dates are weekdays (for keeping it casual), second & third dates are weekends (for taking it up a notch) and fourth dates are back to weekdays (because now it's so serious that you don't need weekends as an excuse). Remembering exactly how many dates you've been on is a must, so you don't mess up that fragileecosystem. Take a lesson from "The Day After Tomorrow" here: you screw with the ecosystem at your peril!

If you're going to risk it all and have two dates a night, well, make sure you allow at least a three-hour window between them. I know it's tempting, but don't try to pack in the drinks date at 7 and then the dinner date at 9. You're not going to be able to keep track of the time after those first few drinks. See, three hours is just enough time to remember to check your watch and get out of there. Plus, nobody looks great sweating the sprint to the restaurant.

And the scheduling isn't even the trickiest part. The art is in the details! Remembering which girl is a vegetarian and which one loves a good steak. Figuring out which one was adopted and which one just adopted kittens. Keeping track of which one was named Laura and which one was named Laurie. I'm telling you, if any of that gets messed up, it is not going to be pretty. How do I know? Well, that might have happened once or twice. But, hey, I was eventually able to talk Laurie off the ledge. ...Wait. Or was that Laura?

Truth is, I'm glad that part of my life is over. One of our recent cases reminded me how very unpleasant that whole balancing act can be. As much fun as it is dating on the edge of danger, nowadays I just want to go spend time with Jenny. Maybe even make her my special honeymilk. And since it's just her, it's nowhere near as hard to remember all the stuff she tells me. Maybe it's a little less exciting, but work's dangerous enough as is. By the end of the day, I actually look forward to just putting my feet up and listening. Even if we did spend the whole day texting and checking in...It's like I tell Espo –modern love means an unlimited cell phone plan.