The Ryan Report -- Episode 308 "Murder Most Fowl"
A while ago, I helped out a friend with his online dating profile, on account of I’m such a witty and charming writer. And before you ask, no, it wasn’t Esposito. We spent time on the usual stuff, such as picking out a photo and writing up a bio, but the thing that was most important to him was filling out the “Interests” section. See, my friend is a total obsessive movie fan. He’s constantly going to movies, reading about them, talking about them. They’re his passion and he was convinced that the right woman for him had to be another movie fan as well. In fact, he was convinced that the reason all his previous relationships had failed was those girls were not big enough movie fans.
Personally, I didn’t exactly agree with him on this. Personally, I think there were lots of other reasons those relationships didn’t work out. Maybe, the fact that one girl turned out to still be married and maybe the fact that another one decided to move to Europe without telling him. You know, small things like that.
In any case, I helped him put an incredible amount of detail into that section, listing all his favorite movies, favorite actors, favorite directors, favorite genres. Heck, we listed his favorite screenwriters.By the time we were done even his dating profile name had a movie reference in it.
And it worked. I mean it worked in the sense that he went out on a bunch of dates with girls who loved movies. He started telling me about how he’d go off to see a movie with one girl this day and then off to a talk by a famous director with another girl the next day. As far as I could tell, he was living his dream. And since I played a part in it, I actually felt pretty proud of myself.
That was up until I asked him how it was all going and found out he was exhausted. I thought maybe this was a good exhaustion – you know, from having too many dates and too much extra-curricular activity? But no, it was definitely a bad exhaustion Seems that rather than enjoying himself on all those dates, he’d instead find himself being miserable. He and his dates would spend their time arguing over every single little thing about the movie they’d just watched. All these women were just like him – they loved movies and had an opinion about every aspect of them.
And even if my friend agreed, somehow he and his date always found a way to debate every detail of what they agreed about. Like may attract like, but that apparently doesn’t mean they’re going to like each other.
That’s the thing about passions, a little goes a long way.There was the summer in college I spent somehow getting obsessed with bocce ball – playing it every day and every night with my roommates. By the end of the summer, I never wanted to see another bocce ball again. Or the time that Espo picked up a gigantic carton of his favorite red licorice at the bulk store around the corner. I warned him, but he insisted on eating it every day, certain that he could never tire of its deliciousness. Nowadays, the man goes green whenever we pass someone eating Red Vines.
It’s a simple truth, all things in moderation – that’s what makes your passions the flavors of life, not your life itself. At least that’s what my Mom always said.
And my friend? Well, he’s dating someone new and they’re having a great time.Even though she’s not a huge movie buff, she still enjoys going. Especially if they can indulge her passion by dropping by the music store next door afterwards.I figure the two of them balance each other out… and that’s the point of a relationship, right? Even Castle agrees with me. He’s always saying how a couple needs to have “Ying-Yang,” not “Ying-Ying.”As he put it a while back, “Ying-Yang is harmony, but Ying-Ying? That just, like… a panda name.”Amen, brother. Amen.